In This Castle

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🕯️ About the Castle I am the castle. These halls creak with memory. Some walls have wept. Some still do. Each room you enter here each piece of writing—is something I couldn’t keep inside any longer. My thoughts live like dust in the corners. My stories breathe through the cracks. You’re not just reading… you’re wandering through me. You’ll find: Diary pages dressed up as poems Holy things broken and glittering on the floor Flirty whispers tucked between grief There is pain here. But there is also hope. Somewhere between the ache and the softness, the candle never quite goes out. If you’ve come looking for something quiet and real—welcome. I won’t give you answers. I’ll give you rooms. Some may be locked. Some might know your name. Stay a little while. Or longer.

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    I can feel the energy, like candy to the vein …

  • Thank you Joseph

    Thank you Joseph

    Dear Joseph

    I want to thank you for letting me go

    If you didn’t I would have never left.

    I want to thank you for listening to your body and sleeping with someone else

    If you didn’t I would have been miserable sitting on that couch day after day.

    I want to thank you for releasing my soul

    If you didn’t I would have wasted my life watching you smoke blunt after blunt.

    Dear Joseph I want to thank you for thinking about your needs and not mine

    If you didn’t I would have died giving you all of me.

    I want to thank you for giving her the attention you never gave me

    because if you didn’t I would have gotten depressed from your mood swings.

    I want to thank you for being rude to me

    If you weren’t then I would still be in your stuffy little room.

    I want to thank you for never taking the initiative to take me on a date

    If you did, I would still be with you wondering why that was the ONLY date you took me on.

    Thank you for flaunting your interest for her in front of my face

    If you didn’t, I wouldn’t of realized how ugly of a person you are; inside and out.

    Dear Joseph I want to thank you for showing your true self the last day I showed up to your house

    If you didn’t then I would still be blinded by a covert/vulnerable narcissist.

  • Dear Joseph,

    Dear Joseph,

    I attempted to cook the Baked Ziti today.

    I remember telling you that if I ever got really upset with you, all you had to do is make me this dish and all is forgiven.

    I guess you forgot.

    I did everything correctly.

    I put the oven to 400°, I added the extra spices you usually do, I even did the cheesy breads how you like them (slightly undercooked).

    None of it tasted the same, none I enjoyed.

    It brought me sadness. I cried over the pasta. I cried because it didn’t taste the same. I cried over the emptiness I felt.  I cried because I don’t think I’ll ever have the Baked Ziti the way you make it.

    I don’t think you’ll ever make it for me again.

  • I am angry

    I am angry

    I don’t understand why you can’t love me like I love you,

    I don’t understand why you don’t let me love you like I told you I was going to love you,

    You don’t like me being aggressive with my love.

    I am angry. I am angry because instead of coming to talk to me about your feelings or how you felt about my love…

    You decided to just be like…

    You know what? I’m going to fuck around and find out.

    I am mad at you.

    You hurt me, you betrayed me, you disrespected me.

    I am angry