Take a Look

As I mentioned before I am working on my story and it has been taking a while, I did also change some things around which in the last 3 pages I have not changed but will do later. And as of now this is what I have come up with. Thank you for coming on this journey with me as I am trying to figure my story out.

Go ahead and take a look 👇

BLAKE page 4

page 3

Chapter 1

continued…

After the second service of the day, I absently drive to McDonald’s perusal and I order my favorite large fries and an Oreo McFlurry; and oh what a lucky day their ice-cream machine is not broken. I check my text messages while I wait for my drive-thru order. It is my brother Joe, checking up on me.

Did u go home
Dad is askin
Saw u talking 2 Blake
For da millionth time HE NO GOOD
1:46 PM

Joseph is a year younger than I am. He is very over protective of me even though I am older. Once when I was in fifth grade and he was in fourth, a sixth grader was bullying me so much I finally broke down and cried to Joseph at recess. He calmly told me everything was going to be fine and told me to go back to class. I couldn’t find him after school— we usually walked home together. One of my classmates came running out of breath and with relief in her eyes she managed to say, “Hurry! Come! —It’s your brother— he, he punched a 6th grader!” 

Joe had made that kid’s nose bleed and the school legend goes that the bully cried. He never bullied nor looked my way again. How Joseph never got caught by a teacher or reported has me dumbfounded. I would like to think that no one told on him because they wanted a hero.

I trust Joe, I love Joe, but I do not dare share with him my deviant behavior. I fear that it will ruin the reputation of a what an older sister should be. I feel like I have the responsibility to guide and not tarnish the innocent minds of my three younger brothers. 

Although Joe has a girlfriend, I know he still holds on to his virginity, yes even as his ripe age of twenty-one. 

I do not answer his text message, I just want to sit in my car and eat my little snack while I people watch in the parking lot of McDonalds. Because Joe and I are close he understands my introvert quirks and will leave me alone until I am able to be social again. I love being like this. I love being sola

I wear my loneliness like a fleece sweater on a chilly autumn evening. I clutch on to loneliness, it is cozy. It keeps me warm from the frigid work of obtaining and maintaining friends. Not to mention church friends, those kind of “friends” are the worst kind for my soul. I would have to play a role from a movie script, just so I do not damage their image of my family. In all seriousness both my mother and father have worked tirelessly for people’s admiration; which if you ask me I think it is stupid, but what out weighs my opinion is my love for them, so I will protect their image, I will pose as a quiet, non-sexual, proper cristianita who still lives with her parents as respect and tradition. 

BLOCK

I have been in one the greatest writer’s block of my life.

This has been the longest time I have been without writing. I finally got back into it this year, actually last month. I want to let you know that I have revised and continuing the story of Eve Romano (Blog post: BLAKE)

I at least want to get to chapter 3 in order for me to post on this website so that you guys can have a fluidity of reading material.

I am excited.

Update

Hello Everyone,

I have been sick with strep-throat which took all my energy and desire to write. Also, now that I am coming out of it, work has been crazy busy. I want to apologize to you dear reader for lacking.

I intend to squeeze a post here sometime this week.

Why Halloween?

The reason why I love Halloween season has nothing to do with dressing up nor with seeking the thrill of being scared.

When I was six years old my father left my mother with three young girls. Being the oldest of the three I felt a heavy responsibility, Halloween was the day that I could distract my mind. Halloween was the first “holiday” of the holidays that ended the year.

At the time my mom’s younger sisters were teenagers and they made Halloween an event we would never forget and haven’t forgotten. We were their little dolls, our aunts would dress us up in all kinds of costumes. They would hype Halloween so much I can still remember the scent around the house, I can still remember the energy and the emotion that filled the halls of the house. That one day, October 31st was usually the day I would be free from missing my father, I didn’t have any worry other than worrying if I was going to have plenty of room in my bag for candy.

Year after year Halloween became a delightful chocolate truffle I enjoyed.

Today as an adult I am chasing after that Halloween high. I seek the same scent, the energy and the emotion I  had when I was little.

Anxiety, You W*tch

My whole life I have suffered from chronic anxiety.

I was chained up to anxiety until 2016, when I realized because of anxiety I didn’t do many things, I didn’t take many opportunities.

On the outside I was cool, calm and collective and I wore an expressionless face, but inside…

every nerve in my body was raging with anxiety, panic and disorder.

She had me in twined in every letter of her name, she had me chained to follow her everywhere, she had me choking on everything that I did.

Nowadays Anxiety wants to crawl up on me like an ant. She wants to spend time with me like an old friend. She wants to talk to me, but I don’t answer.

There are times when she gets rather close, those are the times where I have to get physical and kick her ass.

2018

 

I had a blog back in 2009 or 2010 -I really don’t know when really. I force myself not to remember that first decade of the 2000s.

But here I am.

I decided to open my heart once again and write what is in my spirit and mind.

I do like most social media and if I can be honest, I am really expressive on SnapChat. I see how it’s all visual and it might just be me that thinks that writing and reading is slowly being forgotten or altered.  Those little emojis (which I am obsessed with) and short hand slang are the language now, huh?

Well, as I let you in my world I am hoping you can keep up and enjoy my humor.