
recent posts
about
Category: 🕯 The Altar of Ruins
Sacred fragments of grief and spirit
-

I hope they remember meIn the darkJoseph, Andrea.I hope they wakeWith sweat on their skinAnd my name heavy on their chest.Not out of love.Out of guilt.Out of knowing what they brokeAnd walked away from. Seven months.That’s how long I’ve beenTrying to hold myself togetherWith cracked handsAnd a tired soul. Heartbreak isn’t romantic.It’s not poetry.It’s standing…
-

I want space.A breath.A break. But today — July 25th —I’m unbelievably tired.Under fire.Spiritual warfare like fog in my lungs. No peace.Not since he got into a relationship.Grief cracked my chest open. I don’t want to stay here.it’s not healthy Not for my mind or my soul. I’m angry.At her? Him?The enemy.Maybe even God. I’m…
-

I’m angry.Not just a littleBoiling beneath the skin angry. Expectancy.Waiting for somethingAnything … to shift,But it hasn’t.And it hurts. Does this even make sense?Maybe not.But the feeling is real,And it’s mine. Some days,I want to scream:Forget you.Forget her.Forget them all. And maybe that’s the scariest partThat anger has numbed me.
-

He doesn’t love you.He never has.He’s never been in the mood for you.He married you out of convenience.He married you because he had nowhere else to go.
-

I am in so much painthat I’ve developed addictionssome I don’t even recognize.One I know is overeatingsweets bring mecomfort, satisfaction,a moment of happiness. The other day,I ate Carl’s Jr.,even though I wasn’t hungry. Another addiction:giving my body pain,Simply driving myself toward unhealthiness.Not eating well.Spotting all month long.My body cries,but I ignore it. I have control…